You’re Funny. Book Reviews Just Aren’t.

Look at all those responses on what books people find funny!
You are funny people, people.

If you are all relatively funny, why is there no such thing as a funny book review? Are professional book reviewers decidedly unfunny? Or do their editors say to them: “Whoa Jim, your kind of off the reservation with this humor. Could you tone it down chief?”

These are weighty questions.

I’m sorry, I thought books was a form of entertainment. We take what we read seriously, but not ourselves too seriously. Right?

The reviews I read are generally (1) terribly long (2) void of the coveted punchline and generally (3) safe and dry.

Well, I’ll take safe and dry in a thunderstorm.
But in a book review, well, it kind of sucks.

Okay, I suppose it all depends on what you are looking for in your book review.
Here’s what I am looking for in my book review: 1. Finding new stuff I don’t yet know about and 2. A quick take on whether it’s worth reading.

But Mr. and Mrs. Book Reviewer, you don’t do that. No, you do not.
You speak in euphemisms and cloudy language littered with buzzwords. The Guardian even made fun of you today, inviting people to play Book Review Bingo. Do you understand this? It means you talk a lot of crazy book reviewer nonsense.

I think Tina Brown is on to something with The Daily Beast–with her straight shooting tagline: “Read This, Skip That.”  Yep, Tina girlfriend, I am with you on that. (Although your choices in books stink, surprisingly. Weird.)

On Sunday, when I open the New York Times Book Review, I fantasize about reading something like this: “It is obvious that the author has incredible talent. Unfortunately, she apparently locked it away in the closet when she was writing this book.” Or maybe: “This book made me so crazy with appreciation I stopped an old couple at Costco and insisted they buy it.” It’s sad. Mostly because I need to work on my fantasies.

Listen. Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert (example: him recently interviewing Rebecca Skloot of Henrietta Lacks) are not going to win any literary criticism awards. But it’s books meets fun. And sometimes I kind of cringe when the author really keeps trying to talk about the book and doesn’t realize that Colbert is royally teasing. But at least it’s entertaining. That’s a place I like to be.

Every BookSnob I know personally names friends and families as their first source for books. Because your sister will say: “Blech. Stunk.” or your friend will start talking really fast and pounding the table as her coffee spills and says, “No, no, you have to read it. Really, it was awesome.”

But the reviewers, they leave me safe, dry, and, obviously, slightly bothered.
Maybe I am just hanging out with the wrong people, people.

What reviews do you read (by individual or publication) or do you mostly rely on friends and families recommendations?